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Their Belongings

I can't bring myself to throw their belongings away (or look at photos)....what's wrong with me?

By Janet Schnell, MSW, Survivor, former Suicide Prevention Action Network USA board member

Nothing. I stand by the adage do nothing for a year. Suicide grief is so unique the year after holds many ups and downs. If you don't need to get rid of the belongs hold onto them until you are ready to decide.


07/30/2020 at 5:04 AM
it's been 3 years, in standing in front of a bag with her belongings when I thought i was ready to let go. Im in front of the trash can and i still can't seem to let it mit go. I don't even know what all that is inside other than her plastic headband visible from the top. To know that it was her belongings, I couldn't stand the thought of throwing any of her things away. That's why I'm here on the first site I could find. I was looking for some hope. Confusion had set in upon the 3rd year if grieving because it felt like I had been getting stronger throughout the 2nd year. I went on many trips with family and friends, met new friends, and did everything right on the road to recovery. But leading up to the 3rd year, which was the winter time, that's when everything took a dark turn. Decemberis when she left me behind and through the months leading up do the new year is when life tests my will the most. Soon as January first hit, every aspect of my life felt exponentially harder to deal with. I felt I had nothing to look forward to anymore with the occasional get together at my brother's place for a late night karaoke binge drinking. Maybe it's the timing of throwing things away. Maybe I waited too long? Maybe had i gotten around to disposing things in my 2nd year, I would have been better off. But now. Now I feel at my worst, even worst than the 1st year. The fatigue of having to deal with trying to do what I need to in order to recover and also relapsing my realization that she's gone, and she's never coming back, and I'm going to be alive for so many years to accept this fact. It's unbearable for me. I lost some friends, I lost my job, my job has pretty much drained the max dollar from me upon termination disregarding any consideration for my mental state, and psychiatric dependencies. They took it all and there was a time i thought they actually cared. No. They only care about legalities and making sure they did their part to cover their own asses. Don't know where I'm going with this, except I know there's a deep anger and chaos brewing inside of me and I needed to let it out. I need some help...
09/01/2016 at 1:59 PM
My child live with my mom wen she did by her own hands is it wrong that 3 weeks I packed her room up n bring it all to my house I jus felt like I wanted her self with me ppl tell me I shouldn't have done it so soon but I jus wanted everything of hers with me at me house she was 17 she did want she did on July 29 2016 but we had call her death July 31 her 18th bday was 2 months away sept 294th she was so post come stay with me that weekend then change her mind I feel like I should of made her come still maybe she would be here still maybe she would of talked to me n told me how she was feeling that day I could of help she never told me she thought bout suicide she was always a happy person always made jokes n did funny things like it was her front from hurting inside
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