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Forgiveness- poetry

By Marion Waterston, January 31, 2005

 

I guess I'll never know

All I want to know

Or understand

What can't be understood

But I believe it's time to forgive

 

Time to forgive you for leaving me

So abruptly and so painfully

And time to forgive myself

For talks we didn't have

Laughs we didn't share

Songs we didn't sing

Foolishly I thought that time was on our side

 

Can it be that time now wishes to atone for this betrayal

For tears no longer flow like endless rivers

Anger seems a wasted emotion

And dreams those dreaded night-time visitors

Can come as friends

 

Once again I smile at the innocence of children

The unabashed warmth of lovers

The enthusiastic affection of dogs

And although I do not see you my precious love

You are with me

 

So I guess I'll never know

All I want to know

Or understand

What can't be understood

But here in this quiet moment

It's time and I'm ready

To forgive

 

Marion Waterston survived the loss of two members of her family to suicide- her husband, Richard, a psychiatrist, forty-seven years of age, and her son Mark, a college student, nineteen years of age. Following the death of her husband, she helped found a group for widowed people in Rockland County, New York and served as its first president for three years. After the death of her son, some sixteen years later, she joined a group specifically designed for those who had lost someone to suicide. Upon moving to Albuquerque in 1995, she joined "SOS" (Survivors of Suicide) and for the last few years has been president of that group. She states that she's been aware of certain differences in the way she grieved for her husband and then, her son. Some of these differences are expressed in her poetry.

Comments

12/05/2014 at 8:44 PM
Kirsten Jones
This is such a beautiful poem! I lost my brother to suicide last August, he was just 27 years old with a young son. He was my only sibling and its been very hard but this poem helps to relieve some of the pain. Thanks for such beautiful words on such a hard subject.
01/13/2014 at 11:07 AM
Betty Lynn Nylen
Thank you for this lovely poem, for your bravery and work you do. I too am a survivor--our son died by suicide. I also run groups and would like permisison to use this poem in our work with suicide survivors. Betty Lynn Nylen Saskatoon,Sk. Canada
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