Forgiveness- poetry
By Marion Waterston, January 31, 2005
I guess I'll never know
All I want to know
Or understand
What can't be understood
But I believe it's time to forgive
Time to forgive you for leaving me
So abruptly and so painfully
And time to forgive myself
For talks we didn't have
Laughs we didn't share
Songs we didn't sing
Foolishly I thought that time was on our side
Can it be that time now wishes to atone for this betrayal
For tears no longer flow like endless rivers
Anger seems a wasted emotion
And dreams those dreaded night-time visitors
Can come as friends
Once again I smile at the innocence of children
The unabashed warmth of lovers
The enthusiastic affection of dogs
And although I do not see you my precious love
You are with me
So I guess I'll never know
All I want to know
Or understand
What can't be understood
But here in this quiet moment
It's time and I'm ready
To forgive
Marion Waterston survived the loss of two members of her family to suicide- her husband, Richard, a psychiatrist, forty-seven years of age, and her son Mark, a college student, nineteen years of age. Following the death of her husband, she helped found a group for widowed people in Rockland County, New York and served as its first president for three years. After the death of her son, some sixteen years later, she joined a group specifically designed for those who had lost someone to suicide. Upon moving to Albuquerque in 1995, she joined "SOS" (Survivors of Suicide) and for the last few years has been president of that group. She states that she's been aware of certain differences in the way she grieved for her husband and then, her son. Some of these differences are expressed in her poetry.
Comments
05/28/2017 at 7:21 PMJoyce Bjerk
I lost my youngest child, Danny, three years ago. I am only just beginning to have more positive dreams and memories - Like you I still cry every day and feel guilty for not saying and doing more to help him through his depression. I knew something was wrong but didn't know what to do and didn't realize he would take his own life. God bless all of you and I hope you can find some peace.
12/05/2014 at 8:44 PMKirsten Jones
This is such a beautiful poem! I lost my brother to suicide last August, he was just 27 years old with a young son. He was my only sibling and its been very hard but this poem helps to relieve some of the pain. Thanks for such beautiful words on such a hard subject.