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A Husband's Suicide

The Dividing Line chapter

By Jeanne Moren

This writing is one chapter from a book titled The Dividing Line. The book was written over a number of years and reflects on the passage of time since the death of the author’s husband in 1974. It addresses some of the issues that survivors might encounter. To reach the author or request a copy of the book at no charge please email:

thedividingline@sbcglobal.net

Read the chapter here.

Comments

06/10/2017 at 11:34 PM
Elise
Dear Kerry, I am heartbroken to read that your husband also took his own life. My husband died on May 4. I left the house after we had yet, another fight. He dialed 911 and then,shot himself, after texting me. I was two houses away from home. I was too late. I think he knew though I was there -- that I had come back. I, too, have suffocating quilt and remorse over not being everything I should have been -- perfect. My husband had been laid off from his life's work, he developed a painful chronic medical condition, took several strong antidepressants and he, too, was an alcoholic but had long periods of sobriety. He was the dearest person I have ever known and I am overwhelmed that he loved me with all his heart. Like us, it sounds that you and your husband accomplished so much because of your great love for each other and your children. We can't know how things close in on a person and how we might have seen more and helped. I have no wisdom. I simply care with my whole heart and will keep you in my prayers, many times a day. Pleae accept a big hug.
05/31/2017 at 4:29 AM
Kerry Gardiner
My husband of 17 years (together for 25) hanged himself on 9 May 2017. I found his body and cant get the image out of my head. We have 2 children ages 14 and 11 (he died 1 week before my sons 11th birthday). Alistair was my one and only from the age of 16. I knew he was depressed and stressed at work and we were still getting over an affair he had two years before. We chose to stay together and continue to love and support each other. The two years were hard but we were at a good place financially, job wise etc but he just had so much self hate and guilt. Never thought he was good enough and a burden to all that loved him. He battled with alcohol and had been off drinking for 8 years but then he met this other woman and the drinking started as did his affair. He still continued to drink once we got back together but it was not out of control. I feel so much guilt that it is killing me. I feel guilty that I was not there for him when he really needed me that fateful morning. I feel guilty that I did not take his depression and calls for help serious enough. I really never believed he would take his own life!!! I feel guilty that my children lost their precious brilliant dad. I feel terrified and so heart sore I can barely breathe. Just over three weeks since he died. Im so lost.
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